HAIR ON: RECIPES FROM OLDER RELATIVES
Great Aunt Cally says "Once we were playing the Monster Game and someone drew an apple for the head of one of the monsters. We were playing the Monster Game to fill up the time before teatime. Because someone had drawn an apple-head we tore out the little piece of paper around the picture of the apple with a face and persuaded Mam to boil it with all the fruit and mash it into the apple sauce. I dont know why she let us! Normally she'd have said 'Dont be silly'. Mind you, it did take SOME persuading. No-one could taste the picture and ink but it was exciting, like we were eating something that would write on the inside of our stomachs. That was the most important pork&apple sauce I've ever had, and I'm 87."
HAIR ON: MASHING CARAVANS
Caravans are about one and a half feet above the ground and this means that when they are taken away and mashed it is hard to do an impression of when you were inside and you walked from the fridge along to the sink and back again. There is now a line in mid-air at the level of your kneecaps. But if you do the impression by standing on your kneecaps you double the problem.
Wednesday, 28 February 2007
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3 comments:
There's a common 'recipe from older relatives' that finds a shilling in a scone or some such. It's never been clear if it's a very good idea but the older people, they just Love it.
There's a caravan in each of us, about a foot and a half (give or take) up the body (it is contained within the body). In a midget, the gap under the floor (there is a gap under the floor) is, as in most people, frequented if not inhabited by miscellaneous rodents (rats, lizards, etc.). Difference with the midgets, or small people, should I say, is that, well... let's suffice it to say that if a midget ever complains of crab lice or any other such affliction, you now have the knowledge (which is power)to inform them better. Crabs, maybe, lice, less likely. But anybody can wind up with lice. No two things in this universe are mutually exclusive, ever.
Me dad used to tell me that under the dining room floorboards there was a lot of sand, with little hill. A desert world a foot below floor level. To this day I'm not quite sure why he told me this. I suppose it must have been true.
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